Children’s Writing Web Journal

• Just posted: Jon’s Twitter Updates for 2009-08-22 - Just posted: Jon’s Twitter Updates for 2009-08-20 - What kids b… http://ow.ly/15M8Ve #

The market for getting a children’s book published is very competitive. In order to make your manuscript rise above the rest, you not only need an enticing story and vivid characters, but your prose must be solid and fresh. Write exactly what you mean, but write it differently from everyone else. Sound impossible? It’s not, if you know what to look for.

The following are words which, if used in excess, will cause your writing to lifeless. While these words can’t be eliminated entirely, often they can be replaced with more creative choices. In children’s book writing, every word counts, so let’s see how we can make the most of every one we use.

* Quantifiers

Really, very, all, big, little, many, some and “a lot” are used too often and rarely add much to a sentence. The key with descriptions is to find the precise word or phrase that will paint a picture in your reader’s mind. “Uncle Bill was very tall” does not give the reader any useful information. But if you offer a point of reference, the reader can visualize Uncle Bill’s height: “Uncle Bill was so tall that when Jessie stood on a chair she could barely see his whiskers.” This not only tells the reader exactly how tall Uncle Bill was, but it also mentions another physical element–his whiskers– which makes him more interesting.

Sometimes removing the quantifier will make the sentence more powerful. “Sara stood at the bus stop. She was very cold.” The word very is not necessary and delays the reader from getting to the essence of the sentence, which is that Sara is cold.

*Telling Instead of Showing

“Like”, “as if” and “seemed” can make writing sound passive instead of active. “Tom picked up the puppy, who seemed as if she was afraid.” This is lazy writing, because the author relies on the reader to fill in what “afraid” means. “The puppy was curled up in a corner of the sofa. When Tom picked her up, she let out a soft whimper. He could feel her shaking as he held her close to his chest.” By giving concrete details, the author shows the reader exactly how this puppy acts when she is afraid.

One word many authors rely too heavily upon is “felt”. How a character feels should be clear from the surrounding text and dialogue. If the author has to tell the reader that Max feels happy, then the rest of the text is not working as hard as it should be. Show how Max is happy (perhaps he’s turning cartwheels on his way home from school), and let the reader draw his own conclusions.

Laura Backes is the Publisher of Children’s Book Insider, the Newsletter for Children’s Book Writers. Want to learn how to become a successful children’s book author? Come hang with the Fightin’ Bookworms at http://cbiclubhouse.com. Whether is writing picture books, chapter books, young adult novels, finding children’s book publishers — or anything else — you’ll find all the answers at the CBI Clubhouse!

• Just posted: Jon’s Twitter Updates for 2009-08-21 - Just posted: Jon’s Twitter Updates for 2009-08-19 - Interview w… http://ow.ly/15M3wx #

• Just posted: Jon’s Twitter Updates for 2009-08-20 - What kids book would you love to be able to read again for the … http://ow.ly/15LXwV #
• Singer Peter Yarrow now publishing kids books http://ow.ly/kTVN Jon, http://cbiclubhouse.com, Come Join the Fightin’ Bookworms! #
• 100 Useful Twitter Feeds for Book Lovers: http://is.gd/2swo4 Jon, http://cbiclubhouse.com, Home of the Fightin’ Bookworms! #
• Australian book council names best children’s books http://ow.ly/kTOt Jon, http://cbiclubhouse.com, Come Join the Fightin’ Bookworms! #
• Writing a Children’s Book Series: http://ow.ly/kTTx Jon, http://cbiclubhouse.com, Where Children’s Writers Meet #
• ✔You haven’t seen the CBI Clubhouse yet? Get over to http://cbiclubhouse.com and see what the fuss is about! –Retweet> http://bit.ly/jJ6tc #
• 2009’s “most beautiful book in the world” http://ow.ly/kTO9 Jon, http://cbiclubhouse.com, Come Join the Fightin’ Bookworms! #
• 15000 Cloth Books Recalled Due to Strangulation Hazard http://is.gd/2smHz Jon, http://cbiclubhouse.com, Home of the Fightin’ Bookworms! #

• Just posted: Jon’s Twitter Updates for 2009-08-19 - Interview w/Jane Yolen http://is.gd/2n2H8 Jon, http://cbiclubh... http://ow.ly/15LOWb #

• What kids’ book would you love to be able to read again for the 1st time?” discuss @ http://is.gd/2p94s, Jon, http://cbiclubhouse.com #
• Just posted: Jon’s Twitter Updates for 2009-08-18 - Just posted: Want to Write Children’s Books? You Need These Fo… http://ow.ly/15LG7F #

• Interview w/Jane Yolen http://is.gd/2n2H8 Jon, http://cbiclubhouse.com, Where Children’s Writers Meet - Retweet> http://bit.ly/pR5sl #
• Just posted: Excellent Tool for Locating Great Books - Reference librarian Lisa R. Bartle has created a resource of… http://ow.ly/15LxmY #
• Wise Words from the Children’s Poet Laureate http://ow.ly/jIO1 Jon, http://cbiclubhouse.com, Come Join the Fightin’ Bookworms! #
• Kid’s literacy roundup: http://is.gd/2n2lU Jon, http://cbiclubhouse.com, Come Join the Fightin’ Bookworms! –Retweet> http://bit.ly/2C3kdk #
• ✔Stopped by the CBI Clubhouse recently? We’ve added tons of video, audio & more for children’s writers! http://cbiclubhouse.com #
• Blog: Amer. Indians in Children’s Lit http://is.gd/2n277 Jon, http://cbiclubhouse.com,Home of the Fightin’ Bookworms RT> http://bit.ly/hVCOu #
• Talk w/illustrator Pascal Lemaitre: http://is.gd/2n1Yb Jon, http://cbiclubhouse.com, Where Children’s Writers Meet - RT http://bit.ly/2Vj3o #
• Latest PW book reviews: http://is.gd/2n1LA Jon, http://cbiclubhouse.com, Come Join the Fightin’ Bookworms! –Retweet> http://bit.ly/23wGRB #
• Wise Words from the Children’s Poet Laureate http://ow.ly/jIO1 Jon, http://cbiclubhouse.com, Come Join the Fightin’ Bookworms! #
• ✔ Authors take note: A new way to sell children’s books? http://is.gd/2n0Di –Retweet> http://bit.ly/42OnLx #

• Just posted: Want to Write Children’s Books? You Need These Four Things! http://ow.ly/15Loqx #
• ✔ Research Tools You’ve (Probably) Never Heard Of: http://is.gd/2lNoj –Retweet> http://bit.ly/YR5EI #
• ✔Want to Write Children’s Books? You Need These Four Things! http://is.gd/2lAUf –Retweet> http://bit.ly/wjCYa #
• Fightin’ Bookworms: Just Posted - “Understanding the Hero’s Journey” http://ow.ly/klvK Jon, http://cbiclubhouse.com #

Reference librarian Lisa R. Bartle has created a resource of immeasurable usefulness to children’s book writers—and anyone else who cares about literature for kids.

The Database of Award-Winning Children’s Literature offers over 4,000 records from 50 major children’s book awards across five English-speaking
countries. Looking for a young adult novel set in the 17th century that’s won an award? A pre-school book with a female, African-American protagonist that’s
been honored? No problem—the database makes such searches easy.

Here’s how this site can help writers: If you’re planning to write a story, visit the database and find honored books that have similar settings, age-group
targets, characters, etc. Then, go to your library or bookstore and examine these
award-wining books closely. You’ll get instant insight into not only what
makes a book well-received, but what makes your particulartype of book a winner.

Go to http://www.dawcl.com and check it out.

And for more information about children’s book writing — including our exclusive writing course, the CBI Challenge — visit the CBI Clubhouse at http://cbiclubhouse.com.

• Just posted: Jon’s Twitter Updates for 2009-08-15 - Just posted: Jon’s Twitter Updates for 2009-08-13 - Just posted… http://ow.ly/15Lg2y #